This year, I will find the time...

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...to read the Qur'an again.

So in the spirit of New Year’s resolutions I decided to reread the Qur’an, something that I have been meaning to do for a very long time now. Instead of making excuses I’m just gonna jump right into it and see how it goes.

I want to read a few translations at the same time just for the sake of good understanding and clarity. So these are the translations that I will read:

1) Yusuf Ali

2) Pickthall

3) Shakir

I've heard they are pretty good and give a rather accurate picture of what the verses mean when combined altogether. I will be reading them here most of the time cause it's just convenient. However, there is also a brilliant website that you can find here which offers many many different translations of the Qur’an and there is also some commentary that comes with it! I will also do my best to read tafsirs as I heard they are important and can give one invaluable insight into the meaning of the verses.

Also, this time I am going to read the Qur’an in the chronological order of revelation cause as far as I am aware the current order is from the longest to the shortest surah. Not sure why but apparently it's easier to keep track of things when you read the Qur'an in the chronological order.

Here you can find a table that explaines the chronological vs traditional order.

Another useful website that I found is quran4u which offers tafsirs in a pdf format. And the last one is the Qur'an Corpus.

Righty! I think I should get down to reading! I will be starting from surah 96.

Struggling to understand...

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One of the members of The Council of Ex-Muslims Forum (CEMB) posted yet another brilliant video on CEMB's youtube channel. He explains why he left Islam and bids those who watch it farewell as he is moving on with his life. His other videos are worth checking out as I feel he is being very fair and asks legitimate questions about the faith.

As I stated before, I am still very much interested in Islam as a religion but also in people who are Muslims. 

I have never been an even moderately religious person. Religion for me was a personal matter. First time I had to think about religion was when I met my now ex-bf. I watched loads of conversion to Islam stories on youtube. Most of them by women. I was kind of fascinated with convert stories. Could I become one of them? They were soft-spoken and looked really content. I was wondering where it was coming from, and yes, I wanted it for myself too. 

However, when I started to actually read the Qur'an, hadiths and Islamic websites my fascination turned into asking one simple question over and over again: why? 

Until now I struggle a bit to understand why women convert to Islam. I must have comprehension issues.

Personally, as soon as I found verse 4:34, I was pretty much done. There was no way around this verse. I have searched high and low for interpretations. The apologetic ones seemed stretched. 

I would still read the Qur'an hoping that there is something that would change my mind. But I didn't find anything apart from more 'nails to the coffin'.

I do know for a fact that if you want to believe Islam is the truth, you can do it. You can surround yourself with material that supports your point of view. There is plenty of Islamic websites that simply omit problematic verses and teachings. You are not to find out about them BEFORE you convert. Those who give dawah will not present you verses that might trouble your conscience. There is even a word that somebody coined for such practice: dawahganda. 

Once you invested in your conversion and crossed that bridge, you are let into a secret and are allowed to find out about the less pleasant bits.

I understand that some people before their conversion were led to believe into a different Islam than the one presented to them AFTER they converted. There are plenty of female bloggers who struggle with parts of the scripture and still cling to it as a drowning man will clutch to a straw. Why search far and wide for excuses and preform intelectual acrobatics to explain away things that make you feel uncomfortable? Why not admit that there are problematic areas in Islam, maybe some that are simply irreconcilable with your conscience? Shouldn't it be about what the truth is instead of what gives you warm fuzzy feelings?

Hamza Andreas Tzortizs and others on their non-muslim parents.

When I was considering conversion I went on youtube for some quick stories of those who already took this step. It was important for me to know how they approached certain subjects that I found difficult if not impossible to reconcile. There are plenty of convert stories on youtube as they are supposed to be some kind of a proof that Islam is spreading. 

I wasn't a person who thought about religion and God a lot so my research prompted a plenty of questions that I never asked myself. I never really thought of the whole concept of Hell. I didn't really think of Heaven either but simply assumed that if you are a good human being, you will go to heaven. After reading the Qur'an and spending some time on islamic forums I realised that this Hell-Heaven thing is serious business and people do actually fear Hell and dream of Heaven. It wasn't until very late in my research that a very uncomfortable thought occurred. Namely, if I converted and was granted Jannah (Paradise), my parents, as non-Muslims, would go to Hell. To top it up I would be able to see the torment of those in Hell:

Sahih International
7:50 And the companions of the Fire will call to the companions of Paradise, "Pour upon us some water or from whatever Allah has provided you." They will say, "Indeed, Allah has forbidden them both to the disbelievers."

So my parents and dear friends would ask me for water and some food and I would have to refuse... This brings me to a couple of videos I found on youtube.
First one is by Hamza Tzortizs talking about his non-Muslim parents:



The reality is, dear readers, that he willingly accepted totally wicked and twisted ideas that Islam teaches. It's pathology, plain and simple. For a split second I felt sorry for him but then I realised that his torment is self-inflicted and it makes me feel nothing else but revulsion. How can he possibly WORSHIP the same being that is going to torture his parents, who love him very much and he loves them, forever? How can he possibly not see anything disturbing in it? How the hell (pun not intended) can he reconcile the idea of Allah roasting his parents for eternity and at the same time believe he is some kind of pinnacle of goodness and mercy? It's just beyond me. 
Hamza also loved his granddad very much. He speaks about him in this vid:



His granddad, who meant the world to him, fell ill and Hamza decided immediately to go and see him. He says: I have to go and see him. Give him dawah! To prevent him from going to the hellfire!

How can the only thing you can think of is converting the person who means the world to you while he/she is on his/her deathbed? How is it not sick and twisted to have such a thing on your mind when one of your loved ones is dying? Again, how can he continue to worship a being that will torture his loved ones for eternity?

Same question could go to Abdur Raheem Green who on 26th August tweeted: 
Please make dua'a for my father who is critically ill that Allah (SWT) opens his heart to the light of Islam and if he is to die, let him die in a state of eeman. Ameen.


On 2nd October he posted this:
Dear brothers and sisters, May Allah have mercy on you and reward you for all your du'aas which, All Praises due to Allah, have been answered. Around 10 Days ago, my father said the testimony of Faith and a few days ago despite him being barely able to talk we spent half an hour repeating over and over the shahaadah. Last night at 2220 I received a call from my Mother informing me that my Father Passed away. Insha'Allah he died as a person of eemaan. Please continue to make dua'a for him and of course that my mother is guided to Islam.


The idea of him hassling a dying man to convert and making sure he is in the 'right team' instead of catering to his emotional needs... well, it's pathological evil to me.
This highlights how insidious Islam as a religious ideology is. 


And the last video:



That was straight-up cruel and evil of Zakir Naik. I think this lady instinctively knows the sadism and vileness she was brainwashed into but for some reason she can't snap out of it. I would think, people like her should know better...
Hard to believe for most people this is a higher moral stance...

So... Do you speak Arabic?

This is one of the commonly used arguments to discredit your point. As long as you don’t speak Arabic, your argument is invalid.

There is a really funny thing that happens and I’m not sure if you noticed. Go onto any blog, youtube channel, forum, etc. where people publicly announce that they have accepted Islam and read the reactions. There is no end to mashallahs and alhamdulillahs. Also, no one asks whether the convert speaks fluent Arabic and can understand the Qur’an in its original language. Sanity of the person in question is not disputed either.

But turn the tables and dare to say sth critical of Islam or express doubt(s). Then the first question you get asked is whether you speak fluent Arabic. Whilst leaving Islam pretty much equals insanity. Double-standard much?

First of all, according to my knowledge most Arab Muslims don’t understand the Qur’an well. According to my understanding you need to know Classical Arabic, which even most Arabs don’t know, to be able to understand all the nuances in the Qur’an. Speaking colloquial Arabic doesn’t mean that you are being literate or proficient in Classical Arabic. It is also valuable to study pre-Islamic poetry for better understanding.

So we can have two arguments now.

Only about 20% of all Muslims are Arabs who speak Arabic. However, as demonstrated above not all of them will be fluent in Classical Arabic. For argument’s sake let’s say that 10% of world population knows Classical Arabic and hence is able to understand it. It would mean that 90% of people are not able to understand the Qur’an. That makes the Qur’an obsolete to 90% of the world’s population! Universal? I think not.

Consider another scenario. You might need to know Classical Arabic to appreciate the poetry and structure of the Qur’an, and minor nuances but the overall message is clear. Personally I don’t think that one needs to understand Arabic to grasp the abhorrent concept of Hell or rules of inheritance as laid out in the Qur’an. I was told by Arabic speakers that some parts of the Qur’an are beautifully constructed and pleasant to read. I believe them. I also think that things do get lost in translation when it comes to the structure, flow, melody, etc. But to claim that the actual content is lost when translating?

The main point stands. If I need to know Arabic to actually understand the Qur’an, then by all means it is not universal, it is not perfect and thus cannot be the product of a perfect being.

P.S. I absolutely LOVE Arabic calligraphy. I'm really angry at myself now that I didn't use the opportunity and go to calligraphy classes organised by one of the societies back at uni. Ahh... maybe one day :-)