Practicing REAL Islam and why you are doing it wrong ;-)

I vaguely remember writing a similar post back in time which I can't be asked to search for. This post was prompted, again, by another commenter - Ibn Hanif (thanks Ibn Hanif :-) ). Namely this part of her comment:


I really wish to read about the doubts you have about Islam. I believe that your misconceptions have been caused by your pure misunderstanding of the Islamic sources of knowledge. (...) I myself had doubted the belief system which was presented to me with a label of real Islam. But praised be to Allah Who changed my life and helped me to come out fo the superstitious sect and attached me to the Quran and Hadith.


Several months after my first google search on Islam, I can say one thing: I know what Islam is NOT but I don't think I have gained much more knowledge on what Islam actually IS. My question 'what is real Islam' still remains unanswered. I did learn a valuable thing though - there is no rigidity. I would even venture to say that there are as many interpretations of Islam as there Muslims in the world (that would amount to a hefty over 1.5bn interpretations!). And most of them, as claimed by those who hold them, are valid. Who am I, an outsider who is trying to make sense of it, to judge?
I do appreciate variety but in case of a religion I see it as a disadvantage and a flaw. 


I don't expect any Muslim to validate MY interpretation. My interpretation and how I feel about the Qur'an is mine and mine only, and I take the responsibility for my beliefs. I can only tell you how and why I decided not to become a Muslim...


I approached the Qur'an with open mind and heart. I wanted to be Muslim more than anyone reading this blog could ever imagine. However, having issues with organised religion, I promised myself I will not do anything that I don't feel comfortable with. This meant that every single verse in the Qur'an would have to present itself as true, logical, rational, a good idea, thing to do etc. You get the drift. The book would have to be wholesome from cover to cover.
I was on a quest about finding the truth, not what suited my interests. I promised myself there will be no bending, no stretching, no intellectual acrobatics to accept things that I find unpalatable. I was having none of that. I wanted 100% book that I can trust, that is coherent inside out and there is not a single hole that can be found in it. You could call me an absolutist if you wished. Yes, I did set the pole rather high...


I also knew that my decision to convert would not be met with applause. What I would experience could be called more of a backlash. I knew that my parents would be less than pleased, I knew my friends would be asking questions and I knew some of the questions would be hard if not impossible to answer. I put myself on the spot and started thinking of questions that I could receive. Frankly? I didn't know how to answer some of them. It caused me some grief cause these questions were not only relevant to Islam, they could be easily applied to other religious beliefs. So I searched for answers but I couldn't really find anything that would convince me. You could say that I wasn't trying hard enough... Maybe...


The quest, this time for understanding better, continues. And this time there is no emotional pressure to make a decision. I can take my time and see whether I arrive at a different conclusion (which is highly unlikely but not impossible). We will see what the future holds...