Introduction to Islam part 1

A lot of people assume that after 9/11 everyone knows at least a little bit about Islam and Muslims.
I knew very little and sometimes I think: man, ignorance is bliss!


Back in January 2010 my now ex-bf told me that he would like to be with me but in a relationship as a husband and wife. It wasn't a proposal though. I couldn't believe that this boy I adored so much was thinking about me in such a serious way! I felt like "wow, really? me? seriously? you kidding!"


He was serious. However, there was a but. I needed to be Muslim. That just felt wrong to me. He wanted to be with me, but I would have to change my religion for him to accept me. These were my initial thoughts but I said I would think about it. As a person who tries not to dismiss ideas from the get-go, I promised I will look into Islam and let him know. He gave me 6 months, until the end of academic year, to decide whether I want to become a Muslim. He briefly mentioned what he as a Muslim believes in, when and how they pray, what I would have to do as a Muslim. Basics.
As I was walking home that night, I already knew that it was wrong of him to ask me to convert. It meant he didn't accept me for who I am, for the person he fell in love with. So my initial excitement dropped upon this realisation.


I knew very little about Islam at that point. I knew it is the youngest of Abrahamic religions and Muhammad is the prophet Muslims believe in; they also pray a few times a day and their holy place is Mecca, where a couple of people get trampled every year during pilgrimage. Plus, Muslim women wear headscarves and the attackers on WTC were Muslims and they did it in the name of Islam/Allah. This was as much as I knew about Islam before I got home and googled it for the first time... To be continued...

Respect

I frequent different sites and blogs. Most of the time, topics that are brought up on those sites are likely to cause disagreement that often leads to friction between posters, to put it mildly.

There are certain situations when it's simply better to agree to disagree. Interestingly, both sides are prone to saying at some point "You should respect my opinion as much as I respect yours, even if I disagree".

Respect. I find this word has changed its meaning or it means different things to different people. When in doubt, I like to consult a dictionary. Here is how Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines respect:

1) a feeling of admiring someone or what they do, especially because of their personal qualities, knowledge, or skills -> admiration

2) the belief that something or someone is important and should not be harmed, treated rudely

I would say that respecting someone's (religious) beliefs would fall under no. 1. We are always told that we should respect other people's beliefs even if we don't agree with them. Personally, I do not agree with such approach. Simply because certain beliefs or ideas do not deserve respect, even though they might be held dearly by many people. However, I will still respect the right of somebody to have such ideas despite the fact I find them ludicrous. I believe that when one has an opinion about a subject, such a person should be prepared to put forward arguments in favour of their stance or be ready to defend it rather than expect default respect for their beliefs. That's the attitude I have when entering a discussion online or in real life.

Bottomless reservoir of tears...

         




It's been exactly 4 months since I last saw him, held him in my arms and inhaled the perfect combination of oud perfume, Chanel Allure and his skin. Back at the end of January he told me he loved me and would see me again in March. He didn't keep his promise. Because in February he realised that love is not enough. He kindly let me know that in a text message. Didn't even have balls to tell me that over the phone or skype. Apparently he loves me enough to let me go. I have never heard this amount of bullshit in my entire life. 


Since then it's been rough. Or maybe since June 2010 when we parted ways cause we were both done with university and he was due to go back to Saudi. But after few weeks of silence we would always go back to speaking to each other and trying to make things work. However, February was definite. That was it. God won. Allah won. I, a mere non-Muslim, didn't even stand a chance in this. The result of this game was known long before it even began.
I should say to myself: good riddance!, and move on with my life but I'm stuck here, in the circuit of thoughts about him... Yes, he got that deep under my skin.
And simply wondering now when this reservoir of my tears dries up. He is not worth a single tear of mine but they just keep on flowing... Must be the endless helplessness at my situation I guess. 


So I'm waiting for these feelings to let go of me cause it's been too long...