As much as I love my parents, their idea of bringing me closer to God by dragging me to church kicking and screaming makes me go through the roof in 3 seconds. My mother resorts to emotional blackmail and tears enter the discussion very early. My father, on the other hand, uses his most authoritative tone and states categorically that I go to church with them. This is on a good day.
On their bad day, I am lectured about the virtue of going to church, how I will understand it when I get older and when life kicks my butt because I've had it too good, I'm too young and silly.
Since they are so experienced and know me so well, I wonder why they can't figure it out that the more they force me, the more resistance they encounter? I told them that many times and once my mom almost got it but she's back to her old ways now.
Because my visits to parental home are most of the time very brief, I do try not to spoil the atmosphere but I do make sure that they know how much I HATE every second spent there. When I go, I actually listen to what they are saying. And man, they say a lot of rubbish! Yesterday, the priest said that suffering gives our life a meaning and without great suffering we cannot enter heaven (what a sick idea!). I wondered what he knows about suffering, he who has it all given to him on a plate, served by a maid. What does he know about suffering of those who die of starvation; those in great pain caused by terminal diseases or born disabled etc. The man has the nerve to tell you that suffering is good for you! Pff! And the entire congregation sits there like mindless drones listening to such rubbish!
There were other things he said but I was so angry I had to be there listening to such bollocks that I forgot :P
The only good thing was the collection of money they organised for poor but talented and promising young people who simply cannot afford secondary education or college/university. We donated ourselves as also many other people. I don't want to google to know more about this action as it might turn out that not all the money goes to those kids. But good initiative nevertheless.
7 comments:
And that is why I do not want to have anything to do with organized religions. I think we'd all be better off without them.
I couldn't agree more with you Wendy. Sadly organised religions are still going strong..
This is my main issue too - why can't we believe the way we want, why can't we have our own religion and find here and there our place, our closeness to God.
I am not going to Church anymore cause I can't stand this talking - Too much crap most of the time.
I hear you girl, I hear you! When I'm elsewhere I don't go to church but at home, oh well, I cannot stand my mom crying to I give in. hope you are well Marie, take care :)
Hello,
Maybe you could just reframe how you view the whole thing? Just go as a courtesy to them?
The reason I suggest it -is it is one of my regrets that I didn't go to church with my father as an adult. He knew I wasn't Christian- but it would have made him very happy. Of course he never forced me either- so it was a different atmosphere. But it might be better even for you if you can rework the atmosphere around the issue somehow.
I would be very pleasant and if they tried to discuss it later just say you weren't listening. You go as a courtesy to them, but use the time to meditate.
hi Sandy,
there is no refraiming. I tried, I explained my position but my parents simply don't accept it. They don't engage with me in a discussion, simply don't accept it. Because Religion and having faith is seen as a virtue, and if I don't have the religion then what kind of person I am?
I could go as a courtesy to them, of course and simply think of sth else but what I'm trying to make them understand is that I really don't want to be there and no amount of tears and screaming is going to change my position. Plus, you can't make anyone to believe, can you?
I just don't understand why I can't be left alone given the fact that what they do is really counterproductive.
I'd like to share something. When I was much younger I went throgh the same thing with my dad. I had gotten away from church and he was very upset. Ultimately he was worried that he would be judged by God because I didn't go to church. Somehow he felt it was his failing and moreover he worried about my soul. He realized it was MY soul and he had done the best he could, but it was up to me to face God on my new terms.Perhaps your parents feel guilty/responsible for your afterlife. Just a thought...
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