One of the members of The Council of Ex-Muslims Forum (CEMB) posted yet another brilliant video on CEMB's youtube channel. He explains why he left Islam and bids those who watch it farewell as he is moving on with his life. His other videos are worth checking out as I feel he is being very fair and asks legitimate questions about the faith.
As I stated before, I am still very much interested in Islam as a religion but also in people who are Muslims.
I have never been an even moderately religious person. Religion for me was a personal matter. First time I had to think about religion was when I met my now ex-bf. I watched loads of conversion to Islam stories on youtube. Most of them by women. I was kind of fascinated with convert stories. Could I become one of them? They were soft-spoken and looked really content. I was wondering where it was coming from, and yes, I wanted it for myself too.
However, when I started to actually read the Qur'an, hadiths and Islamic websites my fascination turned into asking one simple question over and over again: why?
Until now I struggle a bit to understand why women convert to Islam. I must have comprehension issues.
Personally, as soon as I found verse 4:34, I was pretty much done. There was no way around this verse. I have searched high and low for interpretations. The apologetic ones seemed stretched.
I would still read the Qur'an hoping that there is something that would change my mind. But I didn't find anything apart from more 'nails to the coffin'.
I do know for a fact that if you want to believe Islam is the truth, you can do it. You can surround yourself with material that supports your point of view. There is plenty of Islamic websites that simply omit problematic verses and teachings. You are not to find out about them BEFORE you convert. Those who give dawah will not present you verses that might trouble your conscience. There is even a word that somebody coined for such practice: dawahganda.
Once you invested in your conversion and crossed that bridge, you are let into a secret and are allowed to find out about the less pleasant bits.
I understand that some people before their conversion were led to believe into a different Islam than the one presented to them AFTER they converted. There are plenty of female bloggers who struggle with parts of the scripture and still cling to it as a drowning man will clutch to a straw. Why search far and wide for excuses and preform intelectual acrobatics to explain away things that make you feel uncomfortable? Why not admit that there are problematic areas in Islam, maybe some that are simply irreconcilable with your conscience? Shouldn't it be about what the truth is instead of what gives you warm fuzzy feelings?
29 comments:
ahaha, what an awesome video. It's so true though, whatever you believe you can find someone who believes the complete opposite. Thats why, again, religion is so controversial. I'm still on the fence about everything. Good video though, thanks for sharing :)
Glad you enjoyed it :) I very much love the entire channel, it really is worth checking out :)
I hope your bum doesn't hurt from the fence sitting ;)
I think you are an appointed agent for enemies of Islam…Trained to attack and to feed psychological method by injecting slow poisonous thoughts into weak-minded new and born Muslims.
So you created a story like Hollywood or a TV serial claiming yourself as a brokenheart girlfriend of an imaginary Muslim to feel the reader that you are genuinely ALMOST A MUSLIMAH,
Your cunning methods cannot win a religion which shows the way of living without stress depression for those ALMOST 1.3 BILLION MUSLIMS who believe Islam whole heartedly not doubting a bit of Qur’an or prophet Muhammad (s a w s).
Your crap and scrap arguments and videos have no effects on the true believers of Islam. Keep “drama “of sleepless nights to yourself. We know what is the other side of / in you.
Distance yourself blaming a religion which is growing so rapidly even though your tactical propaganda is storming all over internet and Media’s has no effect on its growing.
SS.
yep, I'm a Zionist Jew looking to destroy Islam. Seriously, mate… As if my words could destroy anyone's faith! I think you give me a little bit too much credit.
I was in a relationship with a Muslim guy, you can believe it or not. And I did contemplate conversion to Islam. So yes, I ALMOST became a Muslimah.
If you don't like my posts, there is a really simple solution to that: close the internet window! Better yet, forget that this blog exists. If you have a problem with my 'crap and scrap' arguments, please demonstrate where they are faulty.
Also, I don't doubt there are people who are converting to Islam but guess what, there are also those who are leaving… But they don't really advertise it because of obvious reasons...
Peace SS.
you said : ...there are also those who are leaving...But....
**********************************
“Your mind creates negative conditions just as easily as favorable conditions, and when we consciously or unconsciously visualize every kind of lack, limitation, and discord, we create these conditions; this is what many are unconsciously doing all the time.”
Charles Haanel
Stress and depression is part of negative minds.
Peace and tranquility is part of positive minds.
Your mind creates negative conditions
My mind easily creates favorable conditions....
That’s why you are a NEGATIVE THINKER like someone who “left Islam” or think they are “Almost a Muslimah”.
Islam is for those who believe in one god, submit themselves to him and his teachings..
Those who left or dont want to convert Islam because they want Islam:
1) To enjoy Islam like rotary or lions club or perform rituals like a film actor.
2) They are not enjoying life with hijabs, beards etc..They don’t stick to Islam even though they
Know there are millions of Muslims following Islam without these things.
3) They believe on writings and videos of Fake x-muslims,anti Islamists, islamophobes, haters, enemies,
doubtful and negative minds(you) that wrote or created video's through literal meanings of
Quranic verses, not taking it metaphorically.
5) their Muslim husband or boy friend shouldn't dump them
6) They miss alcohol, pork and other haram stuffs which was part of their life before their
conversion.
7) Feeling lonely because they have no faith in Allah and his rewards.
Muslim.
I'm sorry? Are you telling me that I CREATED in my head the idea that Muslims are leaving islam? Are you saying there are no Muslims who leave the deen?
Granted, I'm not the most positively thinking person in the world and do allow negativity to take the best of me at times but that's just how I am. Take it or leave it.
Now, onto the claims you made.
1) sure, probably there are people out there who think it's 'cool' to be Muslim.
2) I don't get the point you are trying to make. Pls rephrase. thank you.
3) right… correct me if I am wrong, but do you think that there are NO people who leave Islam?
what's wrong with being doubtful? it's a very human trait. Believers around the world have doubts every day concerning their scriptures, practice etc. Most of the time Muslims would encourage to question because then you learn while searching for answers. what's wrong with it?
As for metaphors… Could you please be so kind and provide me with a verse(s) from the Qur'an, of your choice, and show me how some people take literally sth that should be taken metaphorically? thank you.
5) there should be no such thing as a "Muslim boyfriend". as we all know marriages fall apart and it happens for different reasons.
6) my favorite one! sure, because one would risk going to hell just to have a drink and a pork chop. are you for real? You know what would be easier? To have a drink and a pork chop, and THEN repent rather than persuade oneself from believing in something that you believe. does that make sense?
7) let me ask you a question: do you think a person can make himself/herself believe in anything? in other words, do you think I could believe in Allah and Muhammad as His messenger if I wanted to?
thanks :)
Peace be upon you,May Allah guide and help you to be happy.
You said:......As for metaphors… Could you please be so kind and provide me with a verse(s) from the Qur'an, of your choice,
Me:
Qur'an--> Avoozubillahi Mina”shhaytaan”irrajeem.( "I seek protection from God against the Devil)
Some people believe in physical existence of real SHAYTAN. For some, shaitan is invisible.
Metaphorically "Invisible" Shaiytan is existed/existing each and everyone.
Your post is one of the acts of SHAYITAAN. He/ she is invisible in you, when that appears like what your post did over here, VISIBLE to everyone.. Not only this…your reply to this comment is also to be seen what type of angel or devil you process..
Abusing, scolding, minor crimes are considered as smaller shaitans. Misinterpreting verses (assuming like a well-known scholar), posting confused articles or Videos, spreading fitna on blogs, are medium sorts of Shaiyateens.….killing, War, mass murders etc…are major satanic acts.
Right now I would like to say, Awoodu billahi minashhaytaan nirrajeem ……..
Muslim.
Anonymous....
IF Almost a Muslimah was Muslim then all your points MIGHT hold some weight...but here is the thing...she isn't a believer and neither are many others including myself. Guess what? Those points of yours have no power and hold no importance in a nonmuslims life. Pork etc...are not haram for us. People don't convert to islam because they have read about it, learned about it and it didn't move them one bit. IN fact, in some cases they were repulsed by the faith and purposely chose not to convert. Your entire argument is the same argument that the Christians use when one doesn't see the "light" of Christianity. Well, maybe a muslim found it wanting and lacking. That is his choice. Same for those not the least bit interested in Islam.
BTW...talking about a faith, any faith, and expressing doubts doesn't make one a servant of Shaytan...it makes you a thinking, rational, questioning, intelligent, use your brain human being. Further, if you are going to say that anyone who speaks against Islam is a servant of Shaytan or Satan as Christians say, then that exact same argument would apply to your choice of faith. By saying that anyone other than a Muslim is in the wrong faith you are behaving in a manner EXACTLY as you are complaining about...acting as a servant of Satan from the other person's point of view.
That leaves the question of who is right? Of course you think you are but someone of another faith would point their fingers back at you and say the same thing...that they are right. Which leaves us in a stalemate, each side believing they are correct and condemning or at a minimum feeling sorry for the lack of clarity on the other person's side. Perhaps it is best for each not to worry about anyone else's views on Islam or Christianity or any other faith and allow everyone their own beliefs AND right to think the other is wrong.
hello Muslim,
I am not a linguist but I fail to see a metaphor in the verse you provided, but that's fine. I understand that the verse means that you put your trust in God to protect you against Satan. I guess the rest depends on your concept of God and Satan. I don't really see it as a metaphor but that's okay, you do.
Do you think that the description of hell is metaphorical also?
For your information. I am not misinterpreting verses. I am posting MY OWN understanding of the Qur'an. Just like millions of Muslims who let their opinions about verses to be heard. I do my best to try and research things before and I post my own understanding only. Clearly it doesn't coincide with your understanding, hence, according to you it's coming from a Satan. I guess you have to take up this issue with God, since it was him who revealed sth so vague that it allows for multiple interpretations (although I don't think that's the case most of the time). Anyways, if by reading this blog you have to call God's name to protect you, why not just stop visiting? i'm by all means not throwing you out, just saying.
feel free to address any of other points that i brought up above.
peace!
hi Oby,
thanks for stopping by and commenting.
just out of curiosity, cause I get that a lot, is the name 'almost a muslimah' confusing given the fact that it says 'how i DIDN'T convert to Islam'? I understand it fits ok with present or future tense, but it is also possible for the past tense right?
I think that you touch upon an important point Oby. You can read about different religions but you simply cannot MAKE yourself believe something. At least that's how I feel. Do you think one can make itself believe anything in any given moment?
I whole-heartedly agree on the last thought of yours. My family is getting more and more religious, I have a handful of religious friends and really, I don't want to make them atheists or anything to that effect. I do however take issue with scripture and ideas, not with people.
hello again Muslim,
I'm not defending my faith because I don't have any. Being agnostic is not a religion.
Also, you are not defending your religion. You just stated a bunch of things, some of them ad hominem.
Could you please tell me how you came across this blog and what course of action IDEALLY you would like me to take? what's your goal really? i'm asking just out of curiosity.
Overall, it seems that we have different views on what's acceptable and what's not. Any religion is a set of ideas that I think are free to be discussed and criticised. I will continue to write about Islam, I will keep posting videos that I feel pose valid questions and I will keep making posts about it.
If you don't like it, there are plenty of blogs on which Islam is discussed in a positive light.
peace!
Sister, you're stuck between to lines. Either go this way or that way or else you'll remain in dilemma. Please, do not punish yourself.
You said : .....You just stated a bunch of things, some of them ad hominem.....
( I don’t want to say you are continuously posting bunch of derogatory articles and videos on Islam only because your ex MUSLIM boyfriend dumped you, some of them ad hominem )
I recite again “I seek protection from god against the cursed shaitan"
(no more comments,gud bye)
Muslim
Why do you keep attacking a religion that you decided wasn't for you, leave it and move on.
It's really anoying the way people like you always try to justify to others your reasons for making your decision.
Who cares, just leave my beleifs alone, no need to try to save me or other true muslims from our religion.
Sarah
hi Sarah,
thanks for stopping by and deciding to comment.
I don't feel I am attacking the religion that I decided it wasn't for me. I feel I have exactly the same right to write about reasons why I didn't convert as those who did convert. Would you agree?
Do you think that those who write about Islam, 'advertise' it and write against atheism or against people who don't believe in God have a right to do so? Or is it only one way street?
I'm not trying to save you Sarah. I'm not at your door trying to 'convert' you to atheism etc. You are here willingly, I'm not forcing you to read my posts, am I?
I think you are giving me far to much credit as I am not so powerful.
I also think that if something is truly perfect and has no flaw, there is no criticism out there that would destroy it.
you take care :)
scrolling past the arguments...
What I found interesting in your post was that you pointed out that many women convert to Islam only to find out after their conversion that they are at conflict with many issues they were not knowledgeable about prior.
I acknowledge this to be true, for I have watched many of the same youtube videos (I am sure).
What I don't get about these women is how LITTLE they invested in understanding the religion before converting. They seemed to get caught up in the attention that Muslims gave them on their journey to conversation. They ingest the culture of the Mosque at an incredible rate. They play with covering their hair, and learning catchy phrases they hear around them.
Sometimes I feel that many of the women in those videos are just searching for a place to belong (aren't we all?) and a group of people that support them, but not necessarily a faith to follow.
Once they convert, the intense attention they received as an almost convert disappears and they are left to try to understand and relate to a religion they didn't necessarily want to be part of so much as they just wanted to be part of the culture.
They start to read the Quran (which they probably should have done before converting), and asking meaningful questions about their place in the religion as a woman, a mother, a follower... It would have been most beneficial to do this prior to converting.
I just don't get it. A person finds themselves an adult lost in the world around them. They have a matured brain to help to reason through the journey, but instead jump in the ocean before every investing in swimming lessons.
And lastly, most of converts are brought to a religion by its most vocal/outspoken/financially supported sect. Many of the women in these videos enter Islam under the impression that they are "just" Muslims, but in reality have been spent their most formidable beginning in the religion as a Sunni. It is just one view/interpretation, yet the women even go so far as to deny there are any sects in the religion (wishful thinking, that I myself was guilty of). Many jump ship from the religion before ever venturing out into what the other branches have to offer which could be the peace they were looking for (or not). Not to say that the Sunni sect does not have a lot to offer, but it is only one option (just like the options in Christianity, Judaism, and other major belief systems).
Stephi
hi Stephi,
thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment :)
I do think that there are certain aspects of Islam that are simply not mentioned before the conversion so not to discourage a potential convert. The funny thing is that people do it to themselves ie. they want to see the good aspect of sth, and they will look for information supporting their point of view.
I've done that to myself too. I thought that because of all the bad media that islam and muslims receive, there will be a lot of hateful stuff on the net that is not necessarily true. So I decided to stick to islamic websites only and until I was doing that I had a pretty good opinion about Islam, really. Bear in mind that I hadn't read a single chapter of the Qur'an at that time cause I was waiting for my ex-bf to bring me a copy from the mosque. I was basing my opinion on the verses that I read in various articles on islamic websites.
You know Stephi, I think sometimes conversions are not about knowledge but emotions. I guess a place to belong plays a massive part too. Who knows?
What puzzles me more though is why stay once you found out about things that you simply can't reconcile?
from what I gathered you are also a muslim or you used to be one? not that it matters, just my inherent curiosity :)
Well, it certainly looks like you made the correct choice. There is no reason you should join a religion if you can't get behind it.
Your last paragraph you mention truth vs. fuzzy feelings. It seems like every sane person seems to take a cafeteria approach to religious beliefs, where they take what works for them and ignores the rest. In the face of such behavior, it seems that the search for any one truth is overrated.
hello there Unknown :)
thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
I guess I'm more all or nothing kind of a person and simply can't pick and choose things that work for me and ignore the rest. It doesn't mean that I am against those who do so, I simply wonder HOW they do it, that's all.
I wouldn't say that search for any one truth is overrated. It's difficult sometimes to acknowledge that some things are not what we would want them to be, but I would take the truth any time on a weekday and twice on sunday over warm fuzzy feelings that would be nothing less but a figment of my imagination.
I really enjoyed this video. It pretty much sums up most of my reasons for leaving Islam, also, many of the points are relevant to why I left Christianity / didn't return to Christianity.
Thank you for sharing :)
AAM...
I am not confused in the least by your title especially since you qualify it. Maybe many come here hoping to give you the nudge you need to "get over the hump" and are disappointed to realize it is quite the opposite. That you stepped a toe in that camp and chose not to enter.
As to the question of forcing yourself to believe something...I think humans are really good at lying to themselves...particularly when hormones are in play. I would guess that most converts to Islam are women. Women who are young and "in love" and convert so that they can be with the man that they love. I think they think that it will help bring them closer etc. and they figure that since they are not really committed to their own birth faith (whatever that may be) why not take on Islam? Within it they find a community that is very accepting of them as they are seeking to enter the community, full of "Mashallah sister" and pats on the back for having made the right choice. The man they love is with them. But then they get in and realize that it is going to be just a little different than they thought. If they were not committed to any faith before this is going to be a rough ride. Not only that but they have to change their whole way of thinking...where once they would never accept another woman in their man's bed, now they have to accept at a minimum that it is possible. It takes a HUGE mental adjustment to be OK with something like that which prior to saying the shahada was against every part of a woman's being. A woman who agrees to that is either OK with it or hoping against hope that it never becomes a reality. In my mind emotionally for the woman there is little difference in a second wife and a man having an affair. In fact, the affair might be easier because it is not legal and the man has no responsibilities to the woman in an affair, at least legally.
The reason I think the woman converting to marry a muslim man is a big fat lie to herself is because if she had not met him and had not been influenced by hormones/a promise of a life of roses/etc. I think there would be a very slim chance that the woman would convert to islam on her own without such an impetus. Also, in the case of trying to "hook" a man the woman doesn't take time to research the religion because she doesn't HAVE the time to devote to the research. There is probably emotional pressure both in and outside to seal the deal and therefore she takes a leap of faith rather than do it out of a place of strength and having studied and read. She hopes that everything will work out OK when she converts and IMO thinks that one faith is as good as another so why not? If the man she loved was Jewish and he was pushing for conversion then I think she would very likely convert to that faith.
Hello Almost A Muslimah,
Oh, I have to agree that converting is hugely emotional! But, one should take it seriously and bring knowledge to it. And, also, I have to agree with you that if a person converts and then finds that they are truly at odds with the religion they should move on to find something that brings peace to their mind and soul. "Conversion" is not necessarily a one time event: once you use it, it is gone? no, I don't think so : )
I am Muslim (to feed your curiosity). I found my way to the faith through questions and study, and it was a fairly lonely journey. I didn't have a group of people cheering me on eager for my conversion. : )
To touch on another question you posted to "unknown" about picking and choosing. I struggle to understand the reasoning to many things, but I accept them as something that I don't fully understand and I choose which ones I know I can follow with 100% certainty. Religion is supposed to be free from compulsion. There is freedom within religion; freedom to choose which parts you will follow and which you won't; Freedom to grow in the religion, or not.
In the end, the only person responsible for my actions is myself and the only entity that I am responsible to is God. (In my opinion anyways). This is obviously NOT how religion is played out in the real world, is it? : )
Stephi
hi Becky and thanks for kind words. Yeah, i think the video can be applicable to other religions as well.
glad you enjoyed it :)
@Oby
yeah, I thought the title is not misleading once you enter the blog and see the description.
Since there are no statistics, no that I came across, indicating that mostly women convert, I will reserve my judgement. also, whether they do it because they are in a relationship with a muslim guy, some of them probably yes. But I'm pretty sure there are people out there who are doing some soul-searching and for some reason arrive at the conclusion that islam is the Truth.
I do agree however that if one already has invested emotionally in the idea of becoming a muslim then it does play a role. I don't think you can make a completely rational decision when your relationship is at stake if you know what i mean.
@Stephi
I think I remember you now! you commented before, I believe :)
well, I think that once you find out you are at odds with religion then you should move on. I think it's easier said than done though.
so what sparked your interest in Islam?
in general I agree with you that it's up to the individual to follow the religion to the extent they wish to do so, but I don't think it's scripturally allowed. I think there is a verse saying that you are not supposed to pick and choose.
If I may ask... how do you assess which parts you can follow with 100% certainty and which you don't?
thanks Stephi!
AAM...
sorry...didn't mean to indicate that anyone converting to Islam is doing it only for love. Of course, there are many who do it without a man involved and have personal reasons. I will look for stats and if I can find them I will post. I do suspect it is young women certainly more than men (there are stats for that...I think on the order of 4 to 1). Love is certainly not the only reason to convert...I was looking at one particular aspect that would respond to your question "can people force themselves to believe something?" Yes, I do think they can with the right kind of impetus often coupled with a lack of world/life experience...experience that would help guide them in a clear headed manner.
I thought you didn't but just wanted to clarify anyway :)
thanks for stopping by oby!
Good Evening Almost a Muslimah,
"so what sparked your interest in Islam?"
I found myself in the middle of a country deep in war and conflict. In between 16-24 hour shifts of caring for the injured (and not so injured) I had a lot of time to think and to search my soul for what I truly believed in.
I realized more and more each day that I was not Christian by theology, but I knew that I was at least a believer in God. I searched for a path in which I could worship God alone, without confusion about trinities, sons or a book that was obviously made to be pretty and likable. I wasn't really looking for "pretty" or "likable" anymore. I was looking for what I felt was the closest to the life I was seeing around me. And the only religion that stopped me in my path was Islam. It "fit" what I was searching for, I didn't find it so pretty that it was hard to believe, and as for likable? Well, obviously not all parts of it are likable; just like life its self. SO, since it most resembled the world around me, I felt comfortable with it.
"how do you assess which parts you can follow with 100% certainty and which you don't?"
I don't know if I have a satisfactory answer for that... I don't assess or tally what I can or can't follow. I try to understand it, ask questions, contemplate and "sit on it." If I find I am having a hard time following it, I set it aside and wait again to try it in the future. God knows I am trying. I am really not concerned if other Muslims (or non-muslims) see it that way. They obviously don't know what is in my heart, or the things I have seen that brought me to this point.
hello Stephi,
thanks for getting back and apologies for late reply.
it seems to me that you really found the way to practice islam that makes you comfortable. more power to you! :) I guess you are far more comfortable with not knowing what particular verses mean than me. plus, I asked myself a lot of questions that I knew others would ask me and I just couldn't find answers that convinced ME.
thanks for sharing your views, I very much appreciate it :)
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