It's been one of those bleh/meh days :(
My family came over for a few days and we went to Amsterdam. Throughout the entire time we were there I kept recalling things me and him did or said when we spent there our weekend back in January, how much fun we had and how perfect that weekend was. He came to talk. But we ended up being so happy to be together again that we didn't do much serious talking. It was just old us, having fun, talking about what happened in the previous months, laughing, joking, fooling around but most importantly - being together. Savouring every single second.
He got me a beautiful charm bracelet with angel's wing charm. I wear it every day and it reminds me of him. I often wonder if he thinks of me at all...
I miss him terribly today and I wonder if he misses me at all... He probably already found his perfect Muslim girl and forgot about me. I can't say it doesn't bother me cause a thought of him being with someone else causes me physical pain.
Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will miss him less. I hope...
11 comments:
Tomorrow will be different for sure. I would advice you to try something, I did it with my therapist and it helped me a lot: Imagine your ex-boyfriend is in front of you now, what would you say to him. Imagine and live it. I did it many times and let the anger, the pain, the love flow out of me. I was exhausted afterwards but felt lighter, like a new birth.
Take care and keep faith.
hi Marie,
thanks for your advice, I will definitely try it out :-) at this point I will try anything haha i find this blog quite therapeutic so hopefully it will show in my posts as I continue writing :-) take care x
Aww Almost, it's ok to have bad days. Let yourself grieve your loss. It hurts now, but someday you will be able to look back at the good memories and not hurt because of them.
When the bad feelings show up...feel them, grieve them, and then let them go. Even if you can only let them go for 5 minutes, let them go.
This is my first time here. Your brief story written under "about me" is very interesting. Although I am a "man" and a "Muslim", I think I have an idea about how it's like. Love vs. faith.. that's hard. I'll try my best to read as many of your posts as I can. I hope one you will be with the one you love, and will find the truth (if such thing exists).
hi Anwar,
thanks for stopping by :-) love vs. faith -> i believe it shouldn't be like this. to me you can either have both or love wins :-)
thank you for your wishes, all the best to you too!
@ Undertheabaya
i'm sick of having bad days. i say i want to move on but i'm not able to. it's like my brain is hard-wired to think about him all the time. maybe i'm still too hurt to get on with life.
thanks for stopping by :-)
Almost, I totally, totally get you! I swear I do. I think it's ok to not be ready to move on. If we force ourselves before we're ready then it will all come back to bite us in the you-know-what. Big hugs for you!
thank you :hugs:!
do you ever feel frustrated with yourself and how slow you are in your healing? i do! let's just take it one day at a time :-) and you did great yesterday :-)
First I want to give a big hug to you, hun!
It's always hard to let someone go. Just the sentence "let someone go" hurts because you don't want to let go! We all make decisions in life, and he made his. But he won't find a "perfect" Muslim girl. What does perfect mean anyway? You are so strong, hun, even if you can't see it. There were a lot of feelings, and it takes time to heal. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, and one day you will wake up and just be able to wish him well without feeling grief or anxiety over the loss. You still love and miss him, and that's ok. Feel your feelings, it's much better than to repress them! You did the right thing, so there should be no regrets ;) Hang in there, and I'm here for you xxx God bless you!
you reply got my eyes watery so i will just say thank you for your kind words :'-) best wishes xx
I get frustrated with myself almost daily! I think it's normal, and it's how we learn. Email me sometime! I think we can really help each other thru this!
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