I have always been rather shy, only had a handful of very very good friends rather than a big circle of them. I'm more of a "stay at home read a book" kind of a girl. To hide my social awkwardness I would try to be funny or silly.
Anyways... so with my ex, we used to spend time at home mostly (due to our relationship being secret) either talking, watching various stuff or simply studying together. I felt so comfortable with him I could pretty much tell him anything I felt embarrassed about and we would just have a chat, laugh off my/his silliness and hug.
Being with him felt as being with an old friend around whom you can just be yourself. What a wonderful feeling! He LOVED me without make up, in pyjamas, saw me crying many many times (also because of him), saw me happy, upset and angry. We've done it all. I didn't have to pretend anything. I could be myself with him, with my depression, ups and downs, but also jumping into his arms when he came to see me...
Will I ever get that again? Will I ever feel this way about somebody else? He hurt me so many times, and vice versa, but we could never be angry at each other for long. We would come back, apologise, kiss and hug and be so happy that everything was good again :)
So there is this guy from work who is handsome and nice. I like him. I don't want to get involved with him for many reasons but I guess some conversational practice wouldn't hurt. I need to get back on the 'meeting people' scene! We already had coffee together and he asked me out for dinner but whenever I am with him I just don't know what to say, where to look or what to do with my hands! So I came up with an excuse just not to go out for dinner with him cause I'm scared my mind would go blank! Then he came to my office for a chat and dropped casual: so do you wanna do sth together tonight? Uhh, how about no cause the very thought scares me?
I feel like an animal let out of the jungle not knowing how to behave. I should have stayed in there!
Uhh, what happened to me? I'm so longing for my ex when conversation was easy and natural with instant connection...
This is what I should print myself off in bulk and use it all the time :D
2 comments:
Me too I'm shy in public, especially to people I don't know well! But I think that maybe you could talk so well with your ex because you spent a lot of time together and you knew him well. Maybe if you spend more time with this guy you will relax and feel more at ease too? Of course, situations like this are not easy. But on the other hand, why shouldn't he have to do some effort to get to know the real you? ;-) x
shy people of the world unite :D
with my ex it was instant clicking from day 1 :)
oh the guys is making some effort but i just make it difficult for him i guess ;-) xx
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