I don’t think interfaith marriages are a walk in the park but I think they are doable. They certainly require a lot of tolerance from both sides. This is what it boils down to: tolerance, respect, open mind and non-dogmatic approach to religion and spirituality.
Just imagine being with somebody of the same faith but different levels of practice or interpretation. It would probably cause pretty much exactly the same amount of friction in such relationship as in an inter-faith one.In my opinion, the problem starts when one or both sides claim to have monopoly on the ‘ultimate truth’. Once you convinced yourself that your religion is the ultimate truth, you passed the point of no return. Forget about flexible approach and discussing things openly.
When I first came in contact with Islam I found it as fascinating as I find it now. It was different and exotic. I didn’t see anything wrong with him being a Muslim and practicing his religion, and me being... well, just me... with no religion but still celebrating Christmas. I thought it would be great for me to partake in Ramadan and then Eid and for him to see how we celebrate Christmas in my family. I thought it would be an enriching experience.
I imagined our children being taught (not idoctrinated!) about different religions and different ways of reaching out to God and once they would be old enough, they would decide for themselves what path they want to choose for themselves. I thought it was only fair for both parents to have a say in their childrens’ religious upbringing. I could have been more wrong.
However, for most couples my ideas would be inconceivable. Just imagine for a second that if you cannot fully accept somebody you love dearly, what kind of attitude will you have towards strangers who don't share your religious beliefs? It saddens me. It makes me angry that there are couples out there who find their way to each other among millions of people would reject love because of religion and dogma that rules their lives. It’s so extremely divisive and harmful. It makes me sad that it happened to me. It makes me feel as if someone took away my faith in humanity as a whole...
4 comments:
In Islam men can marry women of the book~ (Christians and Jewish) but you are right on people having to be open and not thinking one is superior over the other. It all depends on the people. Even if you were born Christian and didn't practice I feel a Muslim man can indeed be with you.
For me being a revert I will celebrate all my Canadian cultured holidays with my children if they're being brought up here. I don't see Christmas etc. as religious, it's become more of a cultural thing.
I agree with you, Almost. It can be possible, but both have to be open-minded towards the other's convictions, and this is often not the case. If someone sees you as "wrong" and "deluded" he doesn't have the respect for you that you deserve. Each person has their own truths, and no one has the right to tell you that you are wrong just because you don't fit in with what they believe. Great post! :)
Hi - Came upon your blog now :)
Ive got a friend who's got a christian mother and a muslim father (as you would have been), and unfortunately she's the most confused soul on the face of this earth. She has no idea which way to go. And i guess that that is the reality of these type of marriages. Its the kids who suffer. She's now 20 yrs old and still cant decide. And i guess sentimentality comes in as well - Do i choose my fathers faith, or my mothers? Its hard for them. And as you said you wouldnt indoctrinate your kids, hers were the same. She even has 2 names, a christian and a muslim one - thats how far her parents took the balance in their relationship. So sometimes i feel we cant just be thinking about ourselves, we've got to think about those we'll be bringing into this world as well.
But i guess we all have dreams, Its just sad sometimes when life doesnt play out the way we want it to. But hey, dont worry, im sure theres someone better out there for you! Maybe you just have to wait until he comes stumbling along your way :D ...
hi Pink Pearl :)
thanks for your comment! of course I cannot know how my children would turn out but I would like to think they would find their own path, whatever that would be. What you and others see as confusion, I see as essential part of our life - choosing what we want for ourselves. She's very young and when I was her age (not so long time ago ;) ) I didn't know if the uni course I chose was the right one lol
What I'm trying to say is that I'm older now and I'm still looking for my path. I find the journey to be difficult at times and I do long for somebody who would just tell me: this is what you will follow. but when I think about it, I would never trade it for anything. Cause my path will be my choice and responsibility in the end. I want my children to explore everything without bias and pick sth for themselves. That's how I see it :-)
thanks for stopping by and your kind words :-) and this special someone is better be limping here quicker ;P
take care!
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