I really thought that my ex had exhausted ways of showing how hypocritical he is but man, I was wrong!
He fancies himself as a Muslim man trying to do his best in his deen. He loves Allah, Muhammad, believes in the Qur'an and the Day of Judgement. He must think that makes him superior to others when it comes to character. In reality, the man has got no integrity whatsoever. I think he passed the point of no return.
I received an email from him on Wednesday where he expressed his desire to recover our friendship, and that he would cherish it.
Being me - an internet savvy little stalker - I checked out his twitter (which I haven't done in months) and what do I see? A tweet in Arabic who a friend of mine translated for me cause google translate didn't do a good job at all. A tweet that reads something along the lines:
"Do not frequently praise the one you love..And do not befriend/follow someone who doesn't obey his God.. don't go easy on others, don't overreact and under react. And when you become depressed, then get up, pray and do takbeer" [takbeer is saying "Allahu akbar"]
A tweet only one week old! And do not befriend/follow someone who doesn't obey his God... Well, that would be me! Hello?! I do not obey God so by his own standards he is not supposed to be befriending me. What is he doing sending me an email and wanting to be friends? Hypocrisy much? Seriously! When is he gonna practice what he preaches? *le sigh*
19 comments:
Come out from him .. or else you will break your nervous .. and I do not want this !!
one man doesn't represent a religion .. Muslims are biggest hypocrites and traitors .. I envy you again =) but forget him for your sake and for your family. He is your past .. trust me and move on.. Life doesn't end up on one person.
A request from a brother to his sister =)
If people practiced even half of what they preached, then the world would be a much much better place.
'tis a shame tbh.
agreed Nas :-) being a non-religious person it is hard for me to understand how you can believe in sth so deeply, yet completely fail to practice it.
thanks for stopping by :)
peace be upon all.
I agree with you about his character.
How about you?.You openly proclaim you are a non religious and your blog title suggests you are almost a Muslim, and always want to discuss about Islam only because your ex is a Muslim.
Don’t you think that is ALSO hypocrisy?. You may argue you are not.....but why don’t you allow him to say why he was correct?..
Anonymous,
thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
I don't affiliate myself with any religion and I am a non-religious person.
My blog title says clearly: Almost a Muslimah... how I DIDN'T convert to Islam.
It's a past tense. I indicates that I didn't convert to Islam. But I was contemplating conversion not so long time ago, hence the title 'almost a muslimah' because I ALMOST became a muslim.
i'm not sure what you mean by: but why don’t you allow him to say why he was correct?
hope some things are clearer now :-) take care!
I still think your explanation is not convincing. Nothing difference to his ideology he being Muslim ( may be your argument and decision is different to his stance) and asking you to convert, then left you for not doing so, …but now asking for a patch up.
Your non belief in any religion but “almost a muslimah “ and clarification doesn’t clarify you are not a hypocrite.May be because you are not matured enough to understand.
@Anon,
I don't understand what you are trying to say so I will leave it at that. It's clear. I DIDN'T convert to Islam but was very very close to it, hence the name "Almost a Muslimah".
anyways, have a good day! :-)
I enjoy argument :
You said your converting toIslam was very close that time. So you were almost a muslimah then.
Your ex asked you to convert.
You did not.
He left you because you did not convert. Now the story ends there.
You are a non religious person NOW.
Let me analyze.
As your ex was expecting you to be a muslim but you didn’t.
You were almost a muslimah then. But you didn’t like Islam then or later on.
You declared yourself you are no more a religious person.
Now,
His patch up offer has frustrated you and you feel ridiculous. I agree that.
My question is:
When you closed or buried every past with religion and your ex,. why there is the blog title “almost muslimah” still on your page? (YOU ARE A NON RELIGIOUS PERSON NOW). This really ridicules me. And looks like you are a hypocrite.
If your ex’s offer is ridiculous, why not your mentality and your blog title?.
Note: I am not against you or have no personal animosity, just for an argument and for clarification.
Anon,
I can choose any name for my blog that I want. I write about my PAST and my PAST experiences. the name of my blog is completely valid to me.
I ALMOST became a muslim and I write about how this happened but what stopped me from becoming a muslim.
and no, I haven't buried my past, YET. my experiences shaped me and had an impact on me FOR LIFE.
i'm fine with you thinking it's hypocritical of me. I feel my position is completely valid and I'm afraid I cannot explain it any clearer.
Err, personally i feel you're over-reacting a tad bit (Dont get me wrong hey :)). People always post things which they come across and find interesting/fascinating, and they would like to share it. It doesnt necessarily mean you're preaching.. I always post quotes and what nots. I dont think its hypocritical, and neither do i see it as preaching. I think the intention behind everything is what makes the big difference. And until we know that persons intention, i dont think we're at liberty to discredit someone - in fact we're never at liberty to discredit someone else, after all none of us are perfect examples of human beings.
But hey, your feelings for your ex are quite obvious to all us readers (lol), so yeah, Id tell you the same thing, forget about him, let him go - and when you do that, let all the negative feelings out as well, it'll only serve to bring you down otherwise.
hi Pink Pearl!
haha yeah i'm a bit of a drama queen ;)
sure people do post a lot of things and his tweet certainly wasn't directed at me cause he cannot know that I went on his twitter account to check it out. but yeah, I find it hypocritical. Because even if it's not preaching, I would assume he posted it cause it reflects his opinion/attitude/view etc. Which seems to me to be in a direct contradiction to what he's actually doing.
But i'm probably reading too much into it lol
take care!
Dear Almost,
I just discovered your blog and enjoyed reading it. You seem to be a smart and level-headed girl and you did the right thing by not converting for your ex.
I wish internet and blogs existed 20 years ago so I could have done the same. but it didn't, and I couldn't . I married my bf, moved to Saudi Arabia, and converted to Islam (in that order). Now 20 years later I realize the big mistake I made. The liberal kind man I once loved is not here anymore, he became a strict , verbally abusive cheater who took a second wife behind my back. Claiming it's his right as a Muslim man and I can't object to that . I witnessed in horror how my daughters are not allowed to do most of the things I enjoyed in my youth (sleepovers with friends, travelling alone..etc). And how my sons are growing to hear the misogynistic remarks their father and his brothers/friends say carelessly in front of them. I witnessed how wives are replaceable in this culture, how a man can abandon his wife for the silliest reason. How a woman here can be helpless, suffocated and easily abused. If it wasn't for my kids I would have left and never looked back. But my husband made it very clear that if I ever leave he will make sure I'll never see them again. I've seen this happens to many western women I knew therefore I'm sure he's not just bluffing.So I have to be very strong and patient till my youngest is old enough.
Sorry for the long rant. I just wanted to tell you that love can disappear and our loved ones can end up being our enemies. No man is worth the tears of a woman. No man is worth turning your life upside down for.I know that you think his the love of your life and treated you like no other. I felt the same about my husband but now I'm amazed how much a person and a feeling can change over the course of time.
You are still young. You'll live and love and forget. Wishing you the best in your life.
Hi Anonymous,
first of all, I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of this and thank you for taking the time to comment.
Stories like yours MUST be heard. This is also one aim of my blog. To make people aware. Unfortunately, when involved with Gulf men, one needs to be very careful.
By all means, I am not saying that they are all evil to the core but that women need to stay rational and not let love cloud their judgement. Plus, laws of the country are not exactly favourable towards women.
I hope everything worked out for you and you are safe with your children.
Where are you standing right now when it comes to religion?
thank you very much for commenting again and if you wanted to write a longer post about your journey, I would be happy to post it. and thank you for you good wishes :-) I wish you all the best too xox
Thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately I know many women here in the same situation. Even young Western women who did some research and had some serious doubts but they were blinded by love and empty promises. I too don't say that men here are monsters, but the society is completely dysfunctional.And these men are products of their own society. Women here especially westerners are the ones who sacrifice everything just for their children or because they have no support system back home, while men have absolute power and they know that very well, they just neglect mentioning it to you when they propose because they know it will scare you off.
Regarding religion ... well it's a long story. Let's just say I've lost my faith along with the many things I've lost here.
Thanks for offering me the chance to write about my experience. I might do that but I'm too busy these days.I often don't frequent blogs about life in Arabia lands as I feel they are full of political correctness, which could do more harm to someone who's about to move there.Glad your blog exists and i'm sure it will be helpful to others.
Thanks for the well wishes.
i think the tweet comment is misunderstood by you. he says these words that i find familiar from my own arab husband. i think he is quoting something possibly from a hadith,or quran. praising too much on someone you love, i see him thinking that to much praise will effect his love of it in a negative way. doesnt want bad things to happen. even though muslims must say mashallah on the precious things they admire.so he just keeps his praise to himself, but it is their in his heart of course. and i dont know what you mean about the religious part. i myself would not have a friend who disobeyed his creator. you do believe you have a creator? even though you are not muslim. and you don't have to be. disobeying can be anything similar to breaking the laws of the land. such as, stealing, raping, killing, you get it. ''and when you become depressed'' well if you were a muslim, you would know that this is what you do. my husband did. or you can go to the doctor and get prozac..lol.
i truly do not believe he is a hypocrite and you are young and jump to conclusions. we americans are from a different world than arabs. not saying one is better than the other at all. but you seem to be hooked on the arab culture to be keeping it in your life. blog wise that is. nothing wrong with that. anyway, i need to read more of this blog to get a better understanding of what you are trying to release.
hi Anon,
fair enough if you think so. I posted his entire tweet but the only thing I have 'issues' with is the bit about not befriending/following those who disobey God.
[i] i myself would not have a friend who disobeyed his creator [/i]
if you think about it that would probably mean that if you are a muslim (assumption on my part here), you will be friends with muslims only because you share the idea of God. you wouldn't befriend christians or jews, or atheists because they don't share your ideas/beliefs and will be doing things that will pass as disobedience to you. is that correct?
[i] you do believe you have a creator? even though you are not muslim. and you don't have to be [/i]
actually I don't... I don't believe in a personal God. I don't think that any scriptures out there are 'the truth'. For some reason I'm more willing to believe in God as a first cause but that also causes problems and prompts other questions. Simple answer to your question is: I don't know and I'm happy with it :)
look. hypocrisy means the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform.
he has a very bad opinion about me simply because I'm not a muslim. I have had it written to me in emails and said to my face. That tweet didn't concern me directly but reflects his overall attitude. He says 'don't befriend those who disobey God' yet he comes to me trying to be friends with me and actively seeks help from me. To me, that's hypocrisy.
and finally... I'm not american. I'm not hooked on arab culture but I do find it fascinating. It is so different! I didn't realise that when I started reading about it and it still interests me even though i'm not together with him.
Long comment! better stop here :) thx for stopping by!
hi again
i do respect what you say. i think that he is hooked on you, just as much as you on him..lol.from what you say that is. i myself was told by my husband that i needed to become muslim before we married. and the ''free spirited'' girl that i am, said '''sure, why not''...lol. im glad i did. i spent all my married years now learning and sometimes not about islam and arabic. it is not a boring marraige at all because he has many things to learn from me and i have from him. and having kids, well..hmm, they are raised muslim, and what's funny is that im the one teaching most the time. men don't teach. arab men (most)that is. i wouldnt take offense to your ex. my husband sounded just like him, and still does to a point. but he is more westernized and what he calls less strick than his family. but i see nothing wrong with being friends with the ex as long as you do nothing intimate with him. but dont marry him if you dont be a muslim. i think he will nag at you too much until you do. but i love being a muslim. but i dont know how your ex is with the hijab. im a non hijabi girl in america,and i just wear it in jeddah when we go there. but i dont wear it swimming at the beach. that is way far out away from people. if you plan to live in saudi, maybe he can get you a visa to visit first. but im not sure about that.if you live in europe, you have a better advantage of visiting home. short trips,and cheaper. i think you love him and he loves you. i would marry him and just go with the flow. have fun.
hi Anon :)
yeah you see, I do things out of conviction, especially sth as important as converting to another faith.
I'm not planning on getting back with him, besides I'm not willing to compromise on religion and he's not willing to let me remain who I am. That's where are paths part.
but thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment :)
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